Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Another one of those mushy bs'

I could've had the chance to tell you everything last night. Everything. I blew another opportunity at telling you how I really feel. Because I dont. I dont want to. Like what I've said there's always something that holds me back. Something that doesnt want me to tell you. One word can change everything. It could be for the better or the worst. But who fucking cares? I like it this way. and to tell you honestly I value it. All those late night conversations, retarded talk and all the other stuff.

So yeah I mightve told you everything last night. But I didnt. Because Im stupid. Or Because Im smart. Smart enough not to ruin things, Smart enough not to ruin things between us, Smart enough not to ruin things between us that could lead to eternal damnation of our late night conversations that i value so much. And yes, Ill blame you for that. I dont even fucking know why Im so attached to you. I mean, Being an arrogant and a cocky guy like me to hold back and be uncertain for the first time? That's something. That's something for me. And I applaud you. You've changed things. Most of the time I'd go and let my mouth run but no. I've been very careful. Very careful in choosing my words. Very Careful because I dont want to ruin everything because of one stupid word. I've been very careful. For the first time I was. For the first time I wasnt that arrogant, for the first time I wasnt cocky, For the first time I was careful, For the first time I cared. and I thank you. Thank you for everything.

You've changed me. I dont know why. What's it with you? What's it with you that keeps me coming back? I know there have been times that i told myself that I dont want to text you anymore but one simple message from you throws that mentality away. Its funny. And Stupid. But funny still. And real stupid. It might not be that funny but it is that stupid right? And I dont want to look stupid, But for the first time I've let myself look stupid. I've let myself look stupid over you. And I love it.

I dont know if you know, Much better if you would. Much better if you wouldnt. But what are you anyway? Are you a Kryptonite? A Kryptonite to superbum's heart? A kryptonite to a guy who merely talks about this kind of shit? You've changed me. And I love it. Or not.

3 comments:

astro_prick said...

What have i told you before,go with Kherdy and Biggy sa beerhouse lang...
You don't have to be their text mate and phone pal...
see what happened??



nuninuninninuininuninuinuin...

Anonymous said...

Chris

- Tadu hahahaha

Unknown said...

CM: ayos, eto na pala ang mahabang love angst letter. pwede.

o sino na ba sya?